selfbegot: (Default)
2020-06-30 06:01 pm
Entry tags:

app for [community profile] ryslig, round 2

OOC INFORMATION
Name: Kari
Contact: [plurk.com profile] beelzebae / beelzebae#2319 @ discord
Are You Over 18?: Yep.
Other Characters: n/a

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Character Name: Madoka Kaname
Age: 18, thanks to her time in Ryslig.
Canon: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Canon Point: Third displayed timeline, post-death.
Character Information: A summary of Madoka's life within canon can be found here.

As for how Ryslig impacted her: hoo BOY, that's gonna be a long one. I'll try to narrow down the most impactful things as simply as possible:
  • Showed up immediately after dying and was forced to confront her new afterlife
  • Dug up and ate part of a body, turned into a wendigo, isolated herself in the forest
  • Found Homura and Mami arriving as humans, had to take them under her wing as the only veteran monster
  • Visited Dyster and became a Fog adept; was gifted a necklace by an avatar of the Fog
  • Slowly grew accustomed to life; opened a bakery with Mami
  • Began to rise in standing with the Fog, with the goal of "keeping the monsters in Ryslig to avoid harming other worlds"
  • Began a relationship with Mami, who dropped a few months later, then rebounded to Xion
  • Became the first Fog priest
  • Became a monster a second time - specifically, a demon

Hoo, boy! That about covers it, as long as you ignore all the targeted trauma living in Ryslig brought in the first place. Why would you do that? Because we're going to bring that up in about two line breaks!

Personality: Madoka is a kind young woman who cries as easily as she laughs, hugs her friends tight when they need it, and willingly gives up her life to save other lives. She is also the dying soldier who asks her best friend to kill her, the archer who shoots her friend and mentor without hesitation, and - after years on the Ryslig peninsula - the demon who first venerated the Fog's name. How does she justify these things? How can she live with her own hypocrisy?

Are these things actually contradictions?

Let's rewind for a moment. Madoka is selfless to a fault, even in worlds that have done nothing but punish her for it. When she is teetering on the edge of despair, it is because of the idea that she has brought more harm to others than good; when she effectively ascends to godhood, it is because only a god could handle the monstrous kindness of a wish and a will like hers.

And yet this kindness and generosity is tested over and over again. She is forced to kill her mentor in a split-second decision; can she save lives by taking one? She hurts her best friend beyond compare, to the point of nearly breaking her, by requesting an assisted suicide before she mutates; can she cause less pain actively than would be made as a monster? Madoka is soft, gentle and kind, yes, but for all that she is calculating - a constant moral calculus as she tries to do what is best for the world around her.

And nowhere is this calculation more clear than her actions on the Ryslig peninsula. She has killed before, and may kill again - because to turn a blind eye to the hunger is to kill even more through your own inaction. She has struck a deal with the Fog, asked that she do everything in her power to keep the monsters from going home - because if they are truly monsters now, better to only drag down one world than countless ones. She became the priestess of the Fog through a selfless act, recreating the marker of missing monsters through ritual self-sacrifice - because in a world that was happy to act cruelly in the Fog's name, perhaps kindness was what was necessary in the end. Even one of the deals she struck with the Fog, the ability to feed on people's fear and torment, was done so that she could survive completely nonlethally.

None of this is to say she hasn't changed, of course. As a waldgeist, she learned what it meant to truly feel greedy and gluttonous, and spent three years holding it at bay. As a demon, she's been struck hard by corruption and three and a half years of missing hormonal development. Anger, sinful inclination, impulsivity, sadism - these are all things she's had to learn to cope with, to varying degrees of success.

But in the end, she's still Madoka, somehow. And if the human named Madoka Kaname was able to be kind, well-meaning, and still able to do things of great enormity when the greater good called for it...

Well, aren't monsters supposed to be even stronger?

5-10 Key Character Traits:
- Selfless
- Loving
- Idealistic
- Resolute
- Freely emotive
- Insecure
- Needs direction in life

Would you prefer a monster that FITS your character’s personality, CONFLICTS with it, EITHER, or opt for 100% RANDOMIZATION? Conflicts. (See opt-out note.)
Opt-Outs: None necessary - she's a reapp, and I'd like to keep her Demon assignment!

Roleplay Sample: TDM. (Please note that this was before I asked about keeping her Fog-related boons and status, so it doesn't reflect entirely on how she'll be returning!)
selfbegot: demon (050)
2016-12-18 12:05 pm
Entry tags:

app for [community profile] rubycity_rp

PLAYER
Name: Kari
Age: 25
Personal Journal: [personal profile] karijou
E-mail: supitskari@gmail.com
AIM/etc: Karijou#2339 (discord), legione dentro (aim)

CHARACTER
Name: Madoka Kaname
Canon: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Age: 17 and a few months!
Timeline: Third timeline, after her assisted suicide
Items with character at canon point: Given where Madoka just was, she'll likely have the clothes on her back (a black skirt with an uneven hem, and a very pretty shawl made of fog), a spider-silk bow and arrows, and a silver pendant with a grey and opalescent stone set inside.

Personality: So let's start this off with a quick acknowledgement: I'm apping Madoka from a timeline where things go a fair deal differently for her (in almost universally negative ways). Because of this, I'll be establishing her base personality shown in the final timeline - how she acts before she contracts with the Incubators - and only afterwards describe how this specific Madoka's circumstances have changed her.

Madoka Kaname, when she's first introduced, appears to be a fairly average young girl. She cries as easily as she laughs, and she's the kind of person to grab her friend's hands or just hug them tight on a whim. She hangs around with her two close friends, listens to pop and enka in her spare time, and does her homework - not always well, mind you. She has a loving relationship with both parents and her little brother, and about the biggest thing she has to worry about is whether or not she'll ever amount to anything (and maybe if she'll get a love letter of her own).

It's when Kyubey finally calls to her that she is drawn into conflict, and it is in conflict that her true character shines through. Despite having no powers of her own (for a show basically named "magical girl Madoka magical," she sure takes her sweet time getting there), Madoka does everything she can to watch out for her friends. Some of this is obvious, like the moral support she offers; however, she even sticks around during battles just in case she needs to make a contract to save a friend. When it comes down to it, Madoka is willing to sell her soul into a painful life of battle (and later, to even become a witch) if it means saving the life of another.

And this selflessness isn't just restricted to her friends. When she finally does make her wish - a tremendous one, one that effectively allows her to shoulder the burden of every magical girl that has existed and ever will - she does so without dwelling on the pain it will cause her or the power it will bring. To her, all that matters is that all the girls who have fought before her shouldn't be punished for their dreams. She is supremely idealistic - willing to trade her material existence for a chance at hope for all others, and to do it all with a smile. After all, if she can make a miracle like that come to fruition, it's worth any pain it might bring, right?

Still, this willingness to take action comes with its own problems. When Madoka doesn't have something to fight for, or some way to fight for it, she doesn't have much confidence or even sense of self. She talks throughout the series how nice it would be to be worth something, or to have something she could actually do; she even (briefly) considers making a wish just to be a magical girl early on.

Now, Madoka's canon point - the third timeline of the show - makes a bit of a difference in a few important ways. For one, Madoka makes a contract very early into the loop, and as such doesn't have to deal with as much of her "no purpose" issues for very long. The biggest change, however, is a direct result of the events of the timeline. Sayaka becomes a witch, Mami snaps and tries to kill the other three girls (intending to kill herself afterwards), and Madoka is the one to shoot and kill her first.

This forces Madoka into a different direction of development; even though she's always been capable of doing what needs to be done, personally killing a close friend (one who is still human and conscious, at that) is too much for her. She only barely manages to keep going thanks to the incoming Walpurgis Night; after all, if she gives up hope there, she'll be taking Homura with her. Once she and Homura defeat the great witch, she lies to Homura for the first time (tricking her into taking the last grief seed) and even gives her first "selfish" request of the series: she wants Homura to go back and time and stop her from being tricked by the Incubators. None of this is done out of cruelty or true selfishness, of course; Madoka wants to create a world where her friends can be happy, even if she knows she won't be around to see it.

And so, by the end of the third timeline - when she asks Homura to kill her before she becomes a witch, and Homura tearfully obliges - Madoka has lost a great deal of the innocence she brought with her. She's killed a close friend in self defense, she's seen two other friends die horrible deaths, and she's even put a horrible burden on the one friend she has left. Her words are quiet and hesitant, almost back to how she sounded before she became a magical girl and gained some confidence, and she is able to understand for the first time just how harshly she and her friends have been lied to. But even with all of that, she still holds her ideals to her dying breath. She doesn't ask to die out of sadness or penance, but out of love for the world around her - because even if that world has such unspeakably awful things in it, there's still too much worth protecting to allow herself to hurt any of it.

Because even if this Madoka is filled with regrets, and even if she's seen more than any fourteen year old should ever have to, she is still the same young woman who cries as easily as she laughs.

Personality Development: Her time in the Ryslig peninsula has changed Madoka out of necessity. Part of this is biological, as many of the monsters have certain propensities. Demons tend to do what feels best for them at the cost of anyone around them, and even if Madoka's done everything in her power to avoid acting on those compulsions she can't deny that they're there. That's not even getting into the hunger; on a monthly basis, killing someone is her only option. For the time being, she's taken to a harm reduction approach - if she can stop another life from being taken with the life she takes, then it's not entirely for nothing. She shares her kills with other monsters, she tries to only take what's needed, and if she has to do something that would hurt someone she tries to make it as minimal as possible. Just because it doesn't always work doesn't mean she can ever stop trying.

More than that, though, she's traded away a bit of the old spark of hope in favor of trying to make things as good as she can right now. It's hard to keep your head held high when you know, once the month is up, you're going to have to kill someone, you know? How are you supposed to make "the right decision" when the only option you have involves someone's death? But even with all of that, Madoka does everything in her power to help others where she can - to make sure she brings as much good as she does bad, and to make sure nobody has to suffer any more than is absolutely necessary.

And two and a half years of all this has really taken its toll. Her standards for what is acceptable and what isn't have slipped a long way down the slope; when the Fog God gave her alternate ways of nonlethally feeding, as awful as they were (causing fear and causing pain), she embraced them. She sided with the Fog God solely because of her promise to remain in that world; as awful as the things they were doing could be, it was a hundred times better than monsters and gods being brought back to her home and others. She's befriended people who have done terrible, terrible things, and while she might have done that before Ryslig she wouldn't have the tinge of understanding that she does.

If she met any of her friends like this, she's sure they'd be disgusted with her. But every time her actions save a life, every time she is reminded of the alternative, her resolve is strengthened.

Background: Because there's a lot of things to go through, I'll just link to Madoka's character page and general timeline on the wiki. (In this timeline, Madoka comes from "Timeline 3;" she has no memories of previous or past timelines.)
Previous Game History: A lot of things have happened in Ryslig. In the interest of making a readable app, I'll try and detail the general progression she's gone through rather than individual events:

Immediately after Homura shoots her soul gem, Madoka wakes up drenched on a foreign shore with shallow wounds all over her body. There are several others like her, she finds - humans (and an alien or two) who have washed up almost overnight. Although things appear fine at first, the world around them grows progressively more horrifying, and when the end of the month rolls around everyone begins to transform - their bones and skin warping as they mutate into monsters. Some move faster than others: Madoka's heart stops, but nothing else happens to her, and so she begins to spend her time trying to help others survive and figure out their new changes.

The situation grows worse with each day that passes. The humans in the area want nothing to do with these strange new beasts and shun them. The changes begin to warp people's minds rather than just their bodies. Within another month, every monster has become aware of a new hunger: they must feed off humans, or they will go mad from the pain. Madoka digs up a grave on the outskirts of town and tries to feed off the remains within; this kickstarts her changes, and by the time the night has passed she's stretched and grown into the shape of a wendigo. Overcome by shame at what she considers her own weakness (and subsequent punishment), she flees into the woods and hides for nearly two weeks.

She only shows her face again when she hears the news: more people are arriving, just two months after the original arrivals. To her great dismay, she finds her friends Mami and Homura among them - Homura from the distant future, and Mami immediately following her own death. After a reunion exactly as awful as anyone could have expected, Madoka decide to prioritize taking care of the people she can over her own desperate wish to hide away. This is made simpler by a stroke of blind luck: Tonika, a girl whose changes Madoka had helped with, offers her and her friends a place to stay a whole city over - a place they will remain for almost a full year.

The next year is a chaotic one, to say the least. Madoka joins the service of the Fog god under duress, and becomes a hesitant ally to the being that brought them all there. She tries to grow accustomed to her new changes, watching out for each new group of arrivals as they come and offering what she can when they change. With each set, Madoka grows more used to her new home, even starting up a cafe with Mami in the nearby city of Bavan. When Tonika and their other roommates vanish, Madoka and Mami take a final step to move into the new cafe and start dating shortly thereafter.

Things aren't perfect, of course. As time passes, Madoka becomes more and more devout to the Fog, and when Mami vanishes from the peninsula she pledges herself fully - even killing a follower of the opposing Fourth god to try and prove her devotion to the cause she believes will minimize harm for everyone else. When she willingly offers her own life in an attempt to bring back one of the Fog's gifts, a monument for the departed, she is blessed and made the first monster Priestess of her god. Even with her new, highly controversial status - very few people appreciate being brought to Ryslig and forced to kill humans, after all - Madoka does her best to keep looking after the people she can, worshipper and human and monster alike.

Shortly before I'm taking her, she goes to see the witch/goddess Mana and ask if there's a way to get rid of the wendigo's hunger. She is given it, albeit by transforming her into a demon (stealing souls instead of cannibalizing meat).

Abilities: Through her time in Ryslig and in service of the Fog God, Madoka's gained a whole lot of ridiculous powers. In the interest of keeping things as easy as possible, I'll be removing anything that isn't a trait of the basic demon template:
  • Flight. Madoka can straight up fly with those wings of hers, yo.
  • Fire. Madoka can create and control fire to a moderate extent (nothing too spectacular), and can stand in flame without any ill effects.
  • Teleportation. By creating a ring of fire on the ground, Madoka can erupt a short distance away in another burst of fire.
  • Paralysis. Madoka can bind a regular human in place so they can't move, as long as she's concentrating on it.
  • Possession. Madoka can possess another being for up to an hour, while they remain cognizant of what's going on. (This would not be used in any way without player consent.)
  • Soulstealing. Madoka can steal a being's soul and devour it, and did so as her primary means of sustenance. This would not be done without player (and mod) consent, it would require her overpowering someone first, and she'll honestly try to avoid this under any means possible.
  • Suffering leech. Not exactly an ability, but Madoka feeds off any suffering she inflicts. Think that feeling right after you take a bite of chocolate, but whenever she hurts someone.
She also has a few concentrated weaknesses:
  • Salt. She is intensely averse to the substance in all its forms; she can't cross a line of salt while on foot, and touching or consuming it in any significant way will hurt or incapacitate her.
  • Holy magic. Anyone capable of using something that would be deemed "holy," whether it's blessed water or a Cure spell, will cause searing damage or death to Madoka.
And finally, on the more mundane side: she knows how to aim and fire a bow, she can make a mean cup of coffee, she's gotten very good at hiding and preserving bodies, she's surprisingly competent at keeping track of a business (even if the paperwork confuses her), and she's never made it past 7th grade.

Network/Actionspam Sample: Thread between Madoka and Homura, from Ryslig. (Madoka was still a wendigo at this time, but her voice remains largely unchanged.)
Prose Log Sample: It's been three weeks now, and she still hasn't fed on anyone.

She sits on the bed in her small apartment with her knees curled to her chest, trying very hard to keep focused and calm as she thinks. Four weeks is the cutoff, right? She'll know for sure by then. She doesn't feel like she's starving yet, which is good, but she's been a wendigo for two years - anything now is full compared to that. She's pretty sure that doesn't make for a very good guess of how far along she is, at least. Maybe she could buy some time by hurting someone? It's better than killing them, it's true, but the thought of being the only monster here doing things like that is almost too cruel to consider. Would it really be right to keep herself alive, if that were the case...?

Not that she wants to die, of course. She wants to live, so badly it hurts. She hopes, beyond anything she can remember having hoped for, that the hunger is gone - that a week will come and go, and that she'll still be the same person standing here. But hope alone isn't enough to change anything. She knows that now, better than almost anything else she's learned from that place. So she stands and heads to the wall, and she marks off the calendar in red, six days from now. Six days - that's how long she can give herself to find out how this place works. If she can just find out whether the hunger is still there in the next six days, she can go back to an almost normal life. No killing, no hurting people or chasing them down to eat their screams - just a normal life in this empty place. And if she doesn't...

She shakes her head, biting her lip to try and stop the thought. She'll think about that when the time comes. Right now, she's got work she has to do.
selfbegot: (042)
2016-01-03 01:47 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

OOC Information

Player: Kari
Contact Information: legione dentro @ aim, [plurk.com profile] karijou

Madoka Kaname

Canonpoint: End of the third timeline + CRAU
Age: 16
Wish: "I want to stop the hunger for all monsters - in this world, and back home, and anywhere else we might go. After all of this, I don't think any of us can really call ourselves human, but... even so, I don't want a single one of us to ever have to hurt someone to get by. That's my wish."
Result: The hunger for human flesh is gone for Madoka, and potentially for future Ryslig imports. Weapon: Five pink claws of energy on each hand, long and terribly sharp.
Outfit: Still a work in progress; see reference post for appearance.

Powers

» Weapon Summon: Rending Light: Madoka can summon her weapon, five long claws of energy on each hand, at will.
» Empathic Enhancement: Clarity: Having been forced to make the best decision in the worst of time throughout her canon and her time at Ryslig, Madoka can help others think under duress as well. Madoka can help bring calm and acceptance to the people around her, and in the heat of battle can help others to make sound tactical decisions or spot the weakness they'd been missing.

Permissions

» Backtagging: Always acceptable!
» Fourth-walling: Please contact me in advance.
» Violence: Please contact me in advance.
» Shipping: One-sided is always okay; will only reciprocate when plotted!
selfbegot: (Default)
2015-12-29 06:38 pm
Entry tags:

app for [community profile] souljammed

Player name: Kari
Contact info: [plurk.com profile] karijou, legione dentro @ aim
Other characters currently played: n/a

Character name: Madoka Kaname
Age: 16 and a few months.
Canon: Puella Magi Madoka Magica, as a CRAU from [community profile] ryslig
Canonpoint: End of Homura's third timeline, canon-updated from two years in Ryslig.

Background: Hoo, boy. First off, let's start with this link, which gives a series of events that happen before all timelines, followed immediately by the events of the first three timelines (timeline 3 being the most important for this Madoka). This link also gives a fair bit of background about Madoka, but doesn't directly address much of the main series events.

Now, on to her CRAU (Ryslig):
  • Immediately after asking Homura to kill her, Madoka becomes one of the first new arrivals on Ryslig. With a shattered soul gem and a firm belief that this is some sort of afterlife, Madoka sets about trying to do as much good with it as she can.

  • The first fog rolls in, and with it the first really Creepy Stuff starts to happen. Madoka helps people when she finds them and makes sure nobody is panicking too badly, and for a little bit it's almost like she's a magical girl again (or at least has that sort of sense of purpose). A week later, she goes into the forest as part of a search crew for a missing group of workers, and even more creepy stuff happens. She realizes two things: this is not an afterlife after all, and none of this bodes well.

  • Some time of almost-normalcy goes by, and then Madoka dies. Literally - her heart stops in her body during a heart attack, but when the pain is over she's not sure what to make of it. (She's still moving around, after all!) The only other changes she gets here are hunger and a hunting instinct, and she finds herself starting to track and kill small woodland creatures. Others are not so lucky, as many of the newcomers begin to physically mutate into monsters at this point. She tries to help where she can.

  • Almost a full month passes. A few monsters find out at this point that they need to devour humans to survive. Madoka is one of the unlucky ones - after she cannibalizes a body on instinct in the Vandare graveyard, the full set of physical changes kicks in all at once. Ashamed at giving in to the hunger and her new appearance, Madoka flees into the nearby forest and hides in the woods.

  • After nearly week of hiding, Madoka hears news of new arrivals in Vandare. A bit reluctantly, she leaves her cave to find them and try to explain as much as she can about Ryslig - and in the process, she runs into Mami and Homura. She is astounded to find that neither of them runs away from her on sight, and further that neither wants to push her away for the way she looks or what she's done.

  • After a bit of discussion, the three decide to find some way to cohabitate - that way, if another set of changes hits the new group, they have both a support network and a possible caretaker in Madoka. Another one of the first group, Tonika - someone who has helped and been helped by Madoka since her arrival - offers the group a place to stay in Bavan, and they gratefully take her up on it.

  • Other monsters begin to report that after about a month, the hunger becomes unstoppable - a few monsters berserk, killing whatever they can lay their hands on in a crazed attempt to feed. Madoka realizes it has been nearly a month since she fed, and in her desperation is dragged into a different realm by the Fog God that brought them all to Ryslig. Without a chance to stop it, Madoka feasts on one of the willing followers - and in doing so, becomes pledged to the Fog God. Mami sees all of this, and when Madoka is next able to talk about it, promises to help look for a way to stop the Fog God.

  • Months pass in relative simplicity. Madoka begins to grow used to eating humans, but works at all times to find ones that are already dead to prevent further loss of life. She helps other monsters through their transformations, and despite her newfound greed does her best to share what kills have to be made with others. However, during a harvest festival, Madoka discovers that a few monsters have been cursed together: Madoka, Mami, and Dipper and Mabel Pines. If one of them does not kill and offer a human body as sacrifice, the whole group will burn to death. Panicked, Madoka tries to find a way out, and in the last hours of the night abducts and kills a townsperson so that none of the others will have to do so themselves.

  • Tonika and Homura both vanish over the months. Mami asks Madoka to move in with her in the downtown and to run a small cafe together, and Madoka accepts. The Tomoe-Kaname Cafe does not immediately take off well, but they manage to break even by a combination of monster fascination in the surrounding town and Mami's cooking. The cafe continues to be a staple of their life until Madoka's departure, except for...

  • A few months in, the farming town of Rota riots. Huge numbers of monsters are captured in an outright invasion, tortured, and kept in a pen to be starved to death/dissolved with acid. Madoka is one of these monsters, and despite getting out relatively lucky she is still covered with lacerations and acid/fire burns by the end of it. When the town burns down in a retaliatory attack from the monsters, she is finally hit by her complete and utter powerlessness in this whole situation.

  • Homura and Kyouko arrive (again, in Homura's case). Both are completely unfamiliar with everything, though Madoka has picked up in her more-than-a-year-long stay how worlds and timelines work differently in this place. Madoka and Mami work with them, offer them shelter, and try to help them through their transformations. In return, Homura takes Madoka to the doctor to finally get glasses for her terrible deer vision.

  • After several months of waffling on the issue and a downright comedy of errors involving a date auction, Mami asks Madoka to be her girlfriend, and a very confused but grateful Madoka accepts.

  • The Fog God begins to repeatedly whisper a request to Madoka, and when Madoka finally complies - killing a zombified Mahiru Koizumi to put her out of her misery - she finds she can grow a set of pink-tipped, long white wings.

  • Another god makes its presence known, shifting many of the monsters into something different, and Madoka becomes a vampire for two months. This gives her many of the things she'd want - nonlethal feeding, humanoid appearance, and less debilitating weaknesses - at the cost of her guilt, humanity and impulse control. Madoka does several terrible things during this period, ranging from "stupid" to "horrifying," and towards the end figures out a way to make her wings permanent.

  • She finally turns back into a wendigo, finds that Mami is missing from the peninsula, and falls into a depression over everything that's happened. Over the next few weeks, she does her best to spring back - after all, Mami might still be somewhere in the forests, and she can work to make amends to the people she hurt - but running a cafe is difficult on her own, and people are more than willing to talk about the mistakes she made. When Kyuubey shows up offering a solution at the cost of her soul, Madoka thinks long and hard before agreeing.

Personality: Madoka Kaname, when she's first introduced, appears to be a fairly average young girl. She cries as easily as she laughs, and she's the kind of person to grab her friend's hands or just hug them tight on a whim. It's only when Kyubey finally calls to her that she is drawn into conflict, and it's in conflict that her true character shines through. Despite having no powers of her own (for a show literally named "magical girl Madoka Magica," she sure takes her sweet time getting there), Madoka does everything she can to watch out for her friends. Some of this is obvious, like the moral support she offers; however, she even sticks around during battles just in case she needs to make a contract to save a friend. When it comes down to it, Madoka is willing to sell her soul into a painful life of battle (and later, to even become a witch) if it means saving the life of another.

And this selflessness isn't just restricted to her friends. When she finally does make her wish in the main timeline - a tremendous one, one that effectively allows her to shoulder the burden of every magical girl that has existed and ever will - she does so without dwelling on the pain it will cause her or the power it will bring. To her, all that matters is that all the girls who have fought before her shouldn't be punished for their dreams. She is supremely idealistic - willing to trade her material existence for a chance at hope for all others, and to do it all with a smile. After all, if she can make a miracle like that come to fruition, it's worth any pain it might bring, right?

Still, this willingness to take action comes with its own problems. When Madoka doesn't have something to fight for, or some way to fight for it, she doesn't have much confidence or even sense of self. She talks throughout the series how nice it would be to be worth something, or to have something she could actually do; she even (briefly) considers making a wish just to be a magical girl early on.

Now, Madoka's canon point - the third timeline of the show - makes a bit of a difference in a few important ways. For one, Madoka makes a contract very early into the loop, and as such doesn't have to deal with as much of her "no purpose" issues for very long. The biggest change, however, is a direct result of the events of the timeline. Sayaka becomes a witch, Mami snaps and tries to kill the other three girls (intending to kill herself afterwards), and Madoka is the one to shoot and kill her first.

This forces Madoka into a different direction of development; even though she's always been capable of doing what needs to be done, personally killing a close friend (one who is still human and conscious, at that) is too much for her. She only barely manages to keep going thanks to the incoming Walpurgis Night; after all, if she gives up hope there, she'll be taking Homura with her. Once she and Homura defeat the great witch, she lies to Homura for the first time (tricking her into taking the last grief seed) and even gives her first "selfish" request of the series: she wants Homura to go back and time and stop her from being tricked by the Incubators. None of this is done out of cruelty or true selfishness, of course; Madoka wants to create a world where her friends can be happy, even if she knows she won't be around to see it.

And so, by the end of the third timeline - when she asks Homura to kill her before she becomes a witch, and Homura tearfully obliges - Madoka has lost a great deal of the innocence she brought with her. She's killed a close friend in self defense, she's seen two other friends die horrible deaths, and she's even put a horrible burden on the one friend she has left. Her words are quiet and hesitant, almost back to how she sounded before she became a magical girl and gained some confidence, and she is able to understand for the first time just how harshly she and her friends have been lied to. But even with all of that, she still holds her ideals to her dying breath. She doesn't ask to die out of sadness or penance, but out of love for the world around her - because even if that world has such unspeakably awful things in it, there's still too much worth protecting to allow herself to hurt any of it.

Her time in the Ryslig peninsula has changed her further, of course. Part of this is biological - wendigos have a propensity to greed and jealousy, and even if Madoka's done everything in her power to avoid acting on those emotions she can't deny that she feels them more strongly now. More than that, though, she's lost a bit of her old spark of hope in favor of trying to make things as good as she can right now. It's hard to keep your head held high when you know, once the month is up, you're going to have to kill someone or take the fruits of someone else doing that, you know? How are you supposed to make "the right decision" when the only option you have is killing a human being? But even with all of that, Madoka does everything in her power to help others where she can - to make sure she brings as much good as she does bad, and to make sure nobody has to suffer any more than is absolutely necessary.

Because even if this Madoka is filled with regrets, and even if she's seen more than any sixteen year old should ever have to, she is still the same young woman who cries as easily as she laughs.

Wish: "I want to stop the hunger for all monsters - in this world, and back home, and anywhere else we might go. After all of this, I don't think any of us can really call ourselves human, but... even so, I don't want a single one of us to ever have to hurt someone to get by. That's my wish."

Just how the Incubators found Ryslig wasn't relevant to Madoka. The price they asked? Even knowing the truth of what it entailed, Madoka couldn't bring herself to regret it. She'd thought for two years about what she could do with another chance, about finding some way to pay off the terrible price this place asked for good - when Kyuubey offered, Madoka didn't have to think twice.

After all, even if she became a witch, she could give Mami, Homura, and everyone else back on the peninsula a chance at a happy life.

She wakes in Nyoi-Cho, a few key things missing in her mind. She remembers Kyuubey, but not the Incubators; she remembers the pain of leaving Mami and Homura behind, but not witches or the thought she might become one; she remembers killing Mami with her own hands, the sobbing and choking that came straight after, but she cannot be quite sure whether the girl's wings had fully grown in yet or not. But the biggest thing missing, something she is able to recognize immediately, is the need to eat humans. (The wendigo's natural hunger remains, constant and powerful - but any food she eats serves to dull it.)

Note: I realize that this may be a difficult wish to work with if other players from Ryslig wish to keep their character's hunger! I am more than happy to work out some sort of compromise or workaround in these scenarios.

Power: Madoka's wish is of an active nature, and as such is geared more towards combat than defense. Similarly, her wish comes from an odd state of mind: she wants monsters to be able to live without hurting humans, but she's come to terms with remaining a monster herself. Thus, her active power will also serve as her weapon - sharp claws of pink energy extending off her already-stretched fingers. In this way, she can turn her monstrous aspects towards protecting people from witches and familiars rather than killing and feeding.

Her passive power functions in a similar sort of way. Throughout her time at Ryslig, Madoka has been forced to make the best decision she can in overwhelmingly terrible circumstances. Her wish is made along this vein of clear thought - she wants to try and reduce people's suffering as much as possible, while still acknowledging that some things may be unfixable. Thus, in contrast to canon Madoka's aura of hope, monster Madoka would emanate an aura of clarity: around her, people would find that they could think more clearly and calmly.

(These powers are meant to directly mirror canon Madoka's, and are chosen with the player's permission.)

Weapon: Five pink claws of energy on each hand, long and terribly sharp.

Sample: Third person action and network text! (Fifteen comments each.)
selfbegot: (029)
2014-08-13 03:25 pm
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2014-08-13 01:24 pm
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If you're wanting to get in contact with me, I respond quickest to private plurks. I can also be reached on AIM fairly quickly. However, if neither of these options works, feel free to message this account or leave a comment here and I'll respond as quickly as possible.
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selfbegot: (003)
2014-08-07 07:40 am
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HOW'S MY DRIVING?
If you have any feedback or critique on how I play Madoka, this is the place to leave it! Specific examples and/or links are greatly appreciated with critique; that way, I'll have a much easier time identifying (and working) on the problem.
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2014-08-07 06:27 am
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MADOKA KANAME (鹿目まどか) | DEMON
1st changehunger/hunting instinct | 08/27/14
2nd changephysical death | 08/29/14
3rd changecomplete physical mutation | 09/29/14
4th changepartial loss of eyesight | 10/31/14
coinscurrent: 26 | spent: 123
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References: [1] [2] [3 (NSFW)]

[1] [plurk.com profile] buttadventure
[2] [plurk.com profile] stocke
[3] anonymous until i get permission!
selfbegot: (002)
2014-08-03 01:09 pm
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[community profile] ryslig application
CHARACTER NAME: Madoka Kaname (鹿目まどか)
AGE: 14 (born October 3)
CANON: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
CANON POINT: Third timeline, post-death
CHARACTER INFORMATION: Wiki
VERDICT:
ACCEPTED

Personality
Traits

cut for length )