[ what does she want...? there are so many ways she could answer. she wants mami back. she wants her friends to be safe. she wants to be safe. she could even answer with the things she used to think of immediately - the things that still rise up, a moment later than usual. she wants everyone to be safe. she wants a way to stop the hunger. she wants... ]

I want...

[ she closes her eyes - takes a deep breath in, sighs a deep breath out, and nuzzles up into the sensation after a moment's hesitation. ]

I want the strength to be able to do the right thing, even if it hurts me to do it. [ any hesitation is gone now. she opens her eyes and meets sarah's, a forlorn sort of smile spreading across her face. ] We don't always agree on what that is. I don't know if we ever will. But I've seen what Elias does to the people who believe him. And I've heard the things he says to the people that listen.

[ her gaze doesn't falter from the gold's gray eyes. after all, she knows whatever power she has can't possibly hurt the being. she reaches up to her neck, gently tugging out the necklace the woman gave her in her first few months here, and lets it rest in plain view. ]

You... even if you've done terrible things, you gave us a second chance. You protected us. You protected me. [ how else can she explain the safety she's felt here? how else can she explain how so much has happened to mami, and so little has happened to her? ] And I... I don't think you've lied to us. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I believe.

[ she clutches the pendant and closes her eyes. like this, it's like the woman is right here with her - like sarah is running her cool, kind fingers through her hair. like sarah is watching over her. ]

So the thing I want most is to help you. Without fear or regrets.